Tuesday, 18 January 2022

Swirls, blurs, your complicated little life. You make this little life complicated.

An internal monologue from the perspective of a brain starved of glucose (hypoglycaemic). The body is walking to work. The street is busy, the world turns in slow motion. Meanwhile the brain runs at a million miles an hour.

Hands find head
Meet plastic frames
You remembered. Great.
Two strides later
The pavement looks different
Swirls, blurs, complicated little life
Well done, idiot.
Walk. Now. People will think you're lazy.
They are looking at you.
Are you even listening??
Her, over there. She's looking.
I did try to tell you.
Now right foot, left foot. 

You should have eaten.
You should have gotten up earlier.
You should have finished that coffee.
You should be embarrassed.
You should look after yourself.
You should stop being so stupid.
You should have thought about this earlier.
You should not let this happen again. Never.
You would think after 19 years it would be easier if you just did it.
You only have yourself to blame.
You should know better.

Are you there?
Orange juice
Left foot, right foot.
She's still looking at you.
You're pale
Your eyes feel horrible
They look pretty ridiculous too. Glazed over like..
Wait, has she taken something?!
Walk in a straight line.
Christ is it really that hard????
You should feel better by now.
Why aren't you feeling better by now?!
Someone else in this position would be fine now.
You're overreacting.
Maybe this is it.
What do you reckon? Do you think he'd help?
I doubt it.

Swirls, blurs, complicated little life
You'll be fine in twenty minutes.
Doesn't feel like it though. 
Does it?
You should do better tomorrow.
You ought to do better tomorrow.
Swirls, blurs
Your complicated little life.
You make this little life complicated.

Based upon my personal experience. Be kind.


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