I'll be honest, I started diabetesgeek for uplifting, home truths about diabetes, but over the past two weeks my blood sugar levels have plummeted - and I feel like complete shit.
Diabetes is isolating at the best of times and to have at least 1 hypo a day doesn't help.
Before my hypo monster came to visit two weeks ago - my blood sugars were settled in the early teens - which was also making me feel awful. So we switched my basal from Lantus to Degludec - something that I'd never heard of before. At this point, anything to stop my high bloods was a miracle. And I have to give that to you, Degludec - you stopped my highs but oh boy have you tipped me the other way. My levels have never been this out of control, and to be honest I feel like giving up right now. Yes I've put in plans with my DSN and am doing everything I can to support myself but it's holding on until such plan begins to take charge.
Don't get me wrong - depression and diabetes have never been the perfect pair but this is really difficult.
I'll tell you why;
Diabetes has never stopped me from doing things, but over the past few weeks I've been feeling dizzy and lethargic; just waiting for the next hypo to strike. Spending my whole day battling against these hypos just seems pointless when they come around anyway. At the moment, this feels like a losing battle; it's currently not even 2pm yet and I'm already on my second hypo of the day.
So why am I writing a blog post? I want people to see the real side to diabetes - yes we are strong people and sure; call me brave and whatnot- but there are dark days. I still have hope and I know my bloods will improve, but in the meantime this autoimmune disease is kicking my ass. Usually, I'd have a couple of 'bad diabetes days' and be over it - but this episode has lasted two weeks now. Understandably - I'm at my wits end.
If you can imagine a tiger (diabetes) pinning an adult down (me) then you're not even close to my relationship with diabetes today. It's like being drip-fed discouragement.. for two weeks. With that being said, I have no other way of surviving so here's to another 24 hours of trying.. *clink*
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